I tried “reading” this but I can’t get through any more of it. I assume you dropped some acid and starting drawing random things and threw in some dialogue later? You’ll probably find someone who enjoys it, but it’s not at all reader friendly or interesting.
It doesn’t make much sense in comic-form as it would animated. I see it all flowing in my head, and it comes together at the end, so to some degree you’re not supposed to get just what’s going on yet. For those who haven’t gotten it by the prologue’s end, however, I’m going to explain things just to make sure and see if I did an okay job conveying it. :D It’s definitely 95% planned, though, and yes, a bit trippy the way I pulled things off. But, really, a LOT has happened so far (which is just a display of things, and ultimately not important to the rest of the comic, lol *shot*). It’s like all the sorts of things that can happen in the comic rolled into one… Pacing might not be the best here, but it was very experimental. It’s a bit different in nature from the rest of the comic.
It is to some degree a random few events culminating in one little story that happens to have dialogue, but if you have no idea what the whole comic’s about to begin with (there’s oodles of info on the rest of the site, and new readers here don’t have the convenience of a back-cover summary right there for them… well, unless you browse the info sections, lol) I can see why you’d react that way. But, it DOES require some thought. ;) Also, I have been horribly slow at getting through this prologue, and that there may be a killer too. I appreciate everybody who sticks with this and enjoys it, though. :)
Might not be the best way to open a comic (I seem to be best at Confusing, Nonsensical Prologues!) but I don’t regret doing it, as I’ve learned a lot.
I must agree that the comic doesn’t flow too well in the first pages. As for story I assume that we need some more pages to clear things out, so I’ll just wait :)
Hehe, the first little part [before Semar and Daylis, the arctic fox and dove, show up] originally had an additional page that probably would have improved the flow of things but was ultimately superfluous. 8) This is all a neat little test in pacing for me. This and the last page were gonna be several pages, too…ew.
Having to explain to your readers outside of the comic what is going on is a sign that something is wrong with the storytelling. Information shouldn’t be in extra pages or rants or comments, it should flow within the comic to an extent, and Kevin is right. It’s not happening at all. It’s not even intriguing because it is so random.
Also, please get an anatomy book or draw from life. Your anatomy is COMPLETELY backwards. Mouths are practically coming off faces, heads are too big for bodies, bodies are doing things they can’t and shouldn’t do, and honestly your work makes it seem like you don’t try or care about how the body works. Unless you’re trying to mix Picasso with anime you really need to start using references.
You’re right. This comic doesn’t rely on side notes. I don’t feel a need to explain what’s going on here, really – I just want to check and see how many people have “got it” once I reach the end of this opening chapter. By summarizing things and seeing if it clicks with readers, I’ll further be able to improve the script and how I portray it. It’s a challenge! I was trying something new with this intro, highly experimental for me and potentially confusing for everybody else, and things shifted and changed a lot over the year I worked on it.
It may be confusing for that reason, but ultimately it’s not that important. The rest of the comic is different – no more “reader friendly” to those unwilling to pay attention and maybe attempt to piece together what’s going on, but more coherent and character-/long-form story-based. :)
Also, thanks for the anatomy advice, I suppose – I do own several books personally recommended to me by these guys, and I photo referenced all the craziest poses seen so far throughout this thing. There’s a superhuman element to the story that I’m researching anatomy for, and you’d be surprised at the range of motion actually achievable with just a little effort. Stop video of people in the midst of performing and it’s pretty stunning sometimes.
PS – I’m comfortable with a 1:7 head-body ratio, but I come a little short of that sometimes. It’s more like… 1:6.5, lol.
It’s kind of messed up to assume I don’t know how human anatomy works instead of just accepting your shortcomings as an artist. If I had sugar-coated my criticism, you would have at least pretended to take me seriously instead of just making up excuses for your work. I DO understand the amazing things the body can do, I’m saying, the way you draw, isn’t natural for anatomically correct anything, even with “supernatural variations”. I’m not blaming your style or anything, because even with style, it should appear that you have a general understanding of anatomy, and it doesn’t appear that you do at all. Instead of glossing over it with excuses, maybe just try to accept that this is bad and try to improve instead of blaming other elements, and take it like a real artist.
I could maybe take you more seriously if you had attempted to give actually helpful, specific critique in its proper place rather than simply going “this is bad” appended to someone else’s comment and assuming I don’t even try. :)
I’ve been trying since the very beginning, and while I began drawing this comic at the end of my “everything is fugly” era, I don’t wholly dislike anything I’ve done or my few attempts at being cartoonishly realistic. I do see where I can improve. I’m aware of rushed panels and things that could have been better.
On a related note, I’m not obligated to draw any way for anybody, so if I wanted to continue with purposely ass-ugly bodies (which is not my intention, and luckily I will keep improving as I always do), I would, and you would either deal with it or read someone else’s comic. There is no way I “should” draw this comic – I do it for me. I doubt you much care about this one specifically, as in a whole two comments you haven’t shown me much by way of advice and still haven’t put forth much effort in reading, either. Like I said, you could actually try to help by being specific.
… well I like this comic so far… I don’t understand why they are so upset, I mean really, finish the prolouge at least before getting all ranty *tch* silly people. Also, I happen to really like how you draw, it’s original. Excuse me now, I am going to continue reading.
Thanks lol.
This seems like such a silly point to stop and rant, too. Its problems aside, I still like this page. I think the prologue came out well since I realized how much I didn’t like drawing it halfway through… XD (But, perseverance!)
Readers just get impatient sometimes getting through comic pages. I think it’s going great so far…Some people prefer page turners but I understand that this is deeper than a simple story and I actually read it like an animation storyboard which works for a comic like this. Keep it up, Sen!
I noticed that most people tend to read the archives as they are now in an average of 4 minutes. This comic will definitely make no sense in 4 minutes. Unless you just take it as it comes, and then it IS confusing, lol. (Although I still think it doesn’t have to be over-thought. And actually, it shouldn’t take longer to read a prologue of this length that mostly has no dialogue, but it does warrant a bit of flipping-back sometimes, maybe.) Doesn’t help that it took me over a year to do the prologue, where my style and aims (but especially the style) shifted sightly over time. XD
I tend to read things reeeally slowly except the extremely simply-styled page-turner kind of comic. I study details, re-read dialogue on individual pages, and only then do I move on. Because I’m a nutter. <3
This is Sidebar 1, used in both two and three column layouts. You can add content to this sidebar using Widgets from the WordPress control panel. Adding widgets to this sidebar will remove this message.
This is Sidebar 2, used in three column layouts. You can add content to this sidebar using Widgets from the WordPress control panel. Adding widgets to this sidebar will remove this message.
I tried “reading” this but I can’t get through any more of it. I assume you dropped some acid and starting drawing random things and threw in some dialogue later? You’ll probably find someone who enjoys it, but it’s not at all reader friendly or interesting.
It doesn’t make much sense in comic-form as it would animated. I see it all flowing in my head, and it comes together at the end, so to some degree you’re not supposed to get just what’s going on yet. For those who haven’t gotten it by the prologue’s end, however, I’m going to explain things just to make sure and see if I did an okay job conveying it. :D It’s definitely 95% planned, though, and yes, a bit trippy the way I pulled things off. But, really, a LOT has happened so far (which is just a display of things, and ultimately not important to the rest of the comic, lol *shot*). It’s like all the sorts of things that can happen in the comic rolled into one… Pacing might not be the best here, but it was very experimental. It’s a bit different in nature from the rest of the comic.
It is to some degree a random few events culminating in one little story that happens to have dialogue, but if you have no idea what the whole comic’s about to begin with (there’s oodles of info on the rest of the site, and new readers here don’t have the convenience of a back-cover summary right there for them… well, unless you browse the info sections, lol) I can see why you’d react that way. But, it DOES require some thought. ;) Also, I have been horribly slow at getting through this prologue, and that there may be a killer too. I appreciate everybody who sticks with this and enjoys it, though. :)
Might not be the best way to open a comic (I seem to be best at Confusing, Nonsensical Prologues!) but I don’t regret doing it, as I’ve learned a lot.
Thanks for your feedback!
I must agree that the comic doesn’t flow too well in the first pages. As for story I assume that we need some more pages to clear things out, so I’ll just wait :)
Hehe, the first little part [before Semar and Daylis, the arctic fox and dove, show up] originally had an additional page that probably would have improved the flow of things but was ultimately superfluous. 8) This is all a neat little test in pacing for me. This and the last page were gonna be several pages, too…ew.
Having to explain to your readers outside of the comic what is going on is a sign that something is wrong with the storytelling. Information shouldn’t be in extra pages or rants or comments, it should flow within the comic to an extent, and Kevin is right. It’s not happening at all. It’s not even intriguing because it is so random.
Also, please get an anatomy book or draw from life. Your anatomy is COMPLETELY backwards. Mouths are practically coming off faces, heads are too big for bodies, bodies are doing things they can’t and shouldn’t do, and honestly your work makes it seem like you don’t try or care about how the body works. Unless you’re trying to mix Picasso with anime you really need to start using references.
You’re right. This comic doesn’t rely on side notes. I don’t feel a need to explain what’s going on here, really – I just want to check and see how many people have “got it” once I reach the end of this opening chapter. By summarizing things and seeing if it clicks with readers, I’ll further be able to improve the script and how I portray it. It’s a challenge! I was trying something new with this intro, highly experimental for me and potentially confusing for everybody else, and things shifted and changed a lot over the year I worked on it.
It may be confusing for that reason, but ultimately it’s not that important. The rest of the comic is different – no more “reader friendly” to those unwilling to pay attention and maybe attempt to piece together what’s going on, but more coherent and character-/long-form story-based. :)
Also, thanks for the anatomy advice, I suppose – I do own several books personally recommended to me by these guys, and I photo referenced all the craziest poses seen so far throughout this thing. There’s a superhuman element to the story that I’m researching anatomy for, and you’d be surprised at the range of motion actually achievable with just a little effort. Stop video of people in the midst of performing and it’s pretty stunning sometimes.
PS – I’m comfortable with a 1:7 head-body ratio, but I come a little short of that sometimes. It’s more like… 1:6.5, lol.
It’s kind of messed up to assume I don’t know how human anatomy works instead of just accepting your shortcomings as an artist. If I had sugar-coated my criticism, you would have at least pretended to take me seriously instead of just making up excuses for your work. I DO understand the amazing things the body can do, I’m saying, the way you draw, isn’t natural for anatomically correct anything, even with “supernatural variations”. I’m not blaming your style or anything, because even with style, it should appear that you have a general understanding of anatomy, and it doesn’t appear that you do at all. Instead of glossing over it with excuses, maybe just try to accept that this is bad and try to improve instead of blaming other elements, and take it like a real artist.
I could maybe take you more seriously if you had attempted to give actually helpful, specific critique in its proper place rather than simply going “this is bad” appended to someone else’s comment and assuming I don’t even try. :)
I’ve been trying since the very beginning, and while I began drawing this comic at the end of my “everything is fugly” era, I don’t wholly dislike anything I’ve done or my few attempts at being cartoonishly realistic. I do see where I can improve. I’m aware of rushed panels and things that could have been better.
On a related note, I’m not obligated to draw any way for anybody, so if I wanted to continue with purposely ass-ugly bodies (which is not my intention, and luckily I will keep improving as I always do), I would, and you would either deal with it or read someone else’s comic. There is no way I “should” draw this comic – I do it for me. I doubt you much care about this one specifically, as in a whole two comments you haven’t shown me much by way of advice and still haven’t put forth much effort in reading, either. Like I said, you could actually try to help by being specific.
Wow. There’s constructive criticism, and then there’s just being rude.
… well I like this comic so far… I don’t understand why they are so upset, I mean really, finish the prolouge at least before getting all ranty *tch* silly people. Also, I happen to really like how you draw, it’s original. Excuse me now, I am going to continue reading.
Thanks lol.
This seems like such a silly point to stop and rant, too. Its problems aside, I still like this page. I think the prologue came out well since I realized how much I didn’t like drawing it halfway through… XD (But, perseverance!)
Readers just get impatient sometimes getting through comic pages. I think it’s going great so far…Some people prefer page turners but I understand that this is deeper than a simple story and I actually read it like an animation storyboard which works for a comic like this. Keep it up, Sen!
I noticed that most people tend to read the archives as they are now in an average of 4 minutes. This comic will definitely make no sense in 4 minutes. Unless you just take it as it comes, and then it IS confusing, lol. (Although I still think it doesn’t have to be over-thought. And actually, it shouldn’t take longer to read a prologue of this length that mostly has no dialogue, but it does warrant a bit of flipping-back sometimes, maybe.) Doesn’t help that it took me over a year to do the prologue, where my style and aims (but especially the style) shifted sightly over time. XD
I tend to read things reeeally slowly except the extremely simply-styled page-turner kind of comic. I study details, re-read dialogue on individual pages, and only then do I move on. Because I’m a nutter. <3